Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Today And Tomorrow

Or: Today, still the same as yesterday, Tomorrow, forecast for hilarity, rich people not amused

I have tried four or five times to type a post, but I end up all over the place and if I feel incoherent then reading it would have been awful (or hilarious if you're like me and you can laugh at just about anything).

Since I have spent about six months in the 15th to 19th centuries researching my ancestors, I am going to read some more things of today to get used to knowing the date (since we are a couple hundred years since the last time the year, month and day was changed, except for the countries that acquiesced later, even less than one hundred years ago) and seeing no "f's" where an "s" should be, though the topics are largely the same, sadly. We've been struggling across the world for equality throughout, eliminating or at least seriously diminishing sexism and classism, and we still haven't tried what would most likely work: empathy.

We won't stop people from being angry and certainly not if we bomb them. Who doesn't dream of revenge when their mother or child was murdered? It's America's problem right now, 'wish I had a say, but my vote seems to go nowhere, but one day there might be a different country attempting to capture a dominating power. As long as people are allowed to see another type of person whether they look the same or completely different, as the enemy, then we will remain dumb as a species. We could be learning about the various cultures of the planet (the same planet), and we could focus on any aspect of science, which could prepare us for life on other planets. Don't think we need to worry about leaving this planet? Is that because you don't know how gas works? The sun won't last forever. Why not start now to secure a life for our children's children? At the moment I think humans are too dumb to worry about continuation, if we could just stop killing in the name of this or that idea of god, but there are so many good people out there (currently outshined by stupidity within politics) that I do have hope

I foresee stupid religious types jumping on the bandwagon after it's been worked out and those who spent the time and money will say, "No, you cause war and we don't want that on this new planet we are to inhabit." I want to say that those who are religious and not jerks won't be disregarded (and they will be included in moving to a new planet), but they might be left behind because of the atrocities committed in the name of the religion they follow. It will be interesting to watch, though I won't be alive for it, and maybe religious fanatics will have settled down (and maybe even apologized for things they may not have had a part in? Apologies that are heartfelt go a long way to mend judgments and relationships). If money is power and power is a right and if an inanimate object such as a corporation is a person (now with rights to power), then money can buy anything so even assholes who might ruin life for everyone might still  be included in inhabiting a new planet. The culture shock alone would be worth writing about.

Possible headlines: Richest man on new planet doesn't get his own way.
Richest man on new planet learns what depression is like, can't take own life, no one will change the laws on access to medicine and weapons just because he wants his way.
Richest man on new planet no longer richest man, no one wants his money.
New planet has new system of creating and offering goods in a public market.
Richest man on new planet appears confused, Never learned anything outside of business.
Richest man on new planet Most socially awkward, can't hide behind pretentiousness any longer.

My future posts will focus on racism and classism as I now see that what I have talked about in the past are in the same genre. Now I see why no one gave a shit about what I had to say when I was out west. We can't run from possibly upsetting topics. You can't be afraid to look bad if you want to help society. Sincerity means a whole lot more to the world (and the people within) than  protecting from hurt feelings. We need to get used to handling difficult feelings while in the presence of others, also known as patience or "keeping your cool" if we want to see something resembling peace and/or happiness.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

When I want to learn about something, I tend to ignore the rest of life and dive into what I want to know about. History is immense so I have been quiet (on the blog) for quite a while. I learned about the westward movement in America. That it was rich people, those who could afford to move, and those families often lost at least one person. As areas along the west coast were settled and established, I think that not having their family that they left behind, both in England and on the east coast of America, left them feeling a little sad or otherwise "off," which has lead to the feeling of today that is to protect yourself, watch everyone else for any mistake. Mistakes "prove" the fearful feeling of needing to remain untrusting of everyone else. A lifestyle I wholeheartedly disagree with. We need to work through those feelings, hopefully with the person/people that "caused" them within us so we don't have to live in fear of "bad" things happening. I don't understand how these feelings can persist throughout time, being passed on to other people who learn quickly not to question idiotic behavior that is socially accepted for they who question are then a threat.

I dived into world history to see what was going on elsewhere to make people want to leave home and find a new start in their life. Of course, as we all know, war is nothing new, nor is persecution for race and religion. Then I decided it would be helpful if I could pinpoint migration to America and what was going on at the time of my ancestors in their home countries. I had attempted researching my family tree a few times before, but maybe there weren't enough people researching back then when the internet first began and throughout the 2000s. This time I have pieced together a good amount of my family ancestry and I have one of my cousins (4th cousins, I believe) about a month ago. We are related through my dad's mom, an Adams.

I was a little frazzled while I tried to stay along the same plane of cousins, jumping family to family and getting quite confused on what relations were where so I decided to stick to one name until I got stuck. I got as far as the Mattesons of Illinois, I might have Joel Aldrich Matteson's parents, but it's been a little while since I attempted to research them. Once I figured out who my great grandmother was, Tallulah Octavia Matteson Powell who married Harry Temple Bellamy of England, I was taken to English records, which are Very different (and so much more helpful) than American records. Then I decided to follow the Bellamy line instead of jumping country to country. I'm quite enamored with England, more now than I ever was. I knew nothing of my family and now I know so much more about English history that it's helping to explain the stupidness of America today. Just like the migration to the west coast in America, where people left families and comfort to start all over again getting used to a new landscape and new terrain to contend with, not getting to heal from anything that may have happened within their families. Meanwhile, those families on the east coast got to work through the issues that arose while in the comfort of the land they called home, since it was over a century after first colonizing the land that people began to move west, but many families still knew of their family and kin back home in the country they originated in, usually England (Ireland, Scotland, and Wales), but not being connected enough to know that England was allowing jewish people back into the country with promises to treat them well, and working on the better treatment of poor people, working up to schools for everyone. It was seen in the 18th century in England that school should be for rich people since they knew best how to handle life and poor people were simply there to do the work that was necessary, leading to workhouses, which I won't go into right now because it's awful and I will end up on a rant about how stupid people are that anyone can see treating people as they have is okay...moving on. My ancestors aided the progression of schools for everyone, seeing that reading and writing were detrimental and not a high class citizen right.

I have been compiling all that I have found on the Bellamy's into one document, but I can't focus on history right now. I have felt a little lost, like I don't belong anywhere, because I am just too different. I think the feeling arose from diving into history and not having anyone to share it with. I was learning about things that many people, at least in my country, don't know about, nor do many seem to care since there's enough going on in this country that needs attention. Then the police shot an unarmed teenager and riots began. There isn't much footage of the riots, but I do know my city, which includes St. Louis County. I spent a lot of time in North County, as well as South County, not so much West County as that's where the rich people are and we enter the feeling of the West coast where it is normal to fear other people, since I don't like that feeling, I stay away from it and don't do much in West County. I spent years growing up in the city from the south side to the north side. I can say that the media has explained the tension as a race thing. It has nothing to do with race. It has everything to do with a broken justice system that we are all tired of hearing about. Wrongdoings all over the place from political officials to rookie police officers and what they seem to be taught to do their job. They have a perceived and expected shady behavior that needs to be changed. That police men and women, including S.W.A.T. as well as the people that allow them to handle situations in the ways they do can be allowed to occur and to continue is what is causing the unrest. The citizens aren't angry with one another and most people aren't worried about race nor religion. We see yet another needless action acted out by an official on a citizen and we are saying it needs to change. We want the justice system to be fixed. To be jailed for almost any reason doesn't make sense. It never did, but I think (or wonder) that people felt fear in speaking up so they let it happen. We see the future as only getting worse if we don't try to help fix it. We are aware that politicians couldn't care less, which only fuels the need to gather peacefully (with the occasional idiot that will throw a bottle at a car and minutes later another idiot throwing a Molotov cocktail at a car wash) until our politicians realize they need to stop making decisions for us, make them with us. It's also about the whole country as well as the rest of the world. There's a much bigger picture that many of us see than just race. We want everyone to be treated well, not just the rich and no longer only those who know the right people. We also see the hypocrisy in there being a large group of officers on any team and of any rank. It's unnecessary. We aren't going to hurt each other, though I do understand the fear that brought the amount of officers to the area, it represents just how citizens are ignored by people of power. Those in power think they know best without realizing they cannot speak for everyone, therefore they need to speak with everyone. To hold public office is not easy. One needs to be prepared to live a life unlike what they were used to prior to obtaining the seat. Sadly, since it is hard (is a hard job), these people feel too overwhelmed and decide against better judgment of talking to their constituents and they do what they want, what they themselves see fit or what they are told to do by those higher than they are. All the way up to the Senate and the House is a description of high school-like behavior, even grade (primary) school-like behavior. A story of tired people is being spun. How long before enough people in power are tired? When will they finally listen to the citizens of America? That's what the protest is about, not race, but proper government of all who inhabit the country.

I still don't feel like I can continue reading about history even though it's a good story that my ancestors paint. A story I am happy to be a part of just by association of relation. I hoped that posting this would help me get back to organizing my data so I can move on from working on my tree (to come back to it another time), but I still feel like I don't care to hear another word of past centuries when the same things are occurring right now, still. Will it ever end? Will humans ever learn not to police other people? We have yet to learn what to look for as being a wrongdoing worthy of a jail sentence. I think that religion has had too much of a say instead of common sense (though not always a bad thing and I can type another post on the topic another time) and it's pretty well known that rich people have had the greatest say with too few looking out for poorer classes.

I will reread and edit this later. I need to find some comedy. Damn the Daily Show for being on break! ...And the Colbert Report and @Midnight. I need some laughter! I wish the BBC would allow more shows to be on youtube. I greatly appreciate how England is able to poke fun at the daily shit that occurs. I don't see how humans can grow from and move on from the stupidshit we put up with without rewording the stories and laughing about it. Without different perspectives we can't learn what needs to change. Narrow views abound, sadly.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Uptight Seattlites

At least I'm happier today than the last two days. I can think of the situation I am stuck in and not far (today).

I can't figure out how to have conversations with these people. The West coast is full of people that feel like they are being attacked (with words) when life could go much more smoothly for them (and anyone/everyone) if they would remove their emotion or their self from every single conversation.

The latest conversation I tried to have was when I got pulled over for turning left apparently when I shouldn't have. The state of Washington is seriously lacking signage so no one knows where they are going until they have to make the turn/merge. Far too many people make right turns from the left lane (I see it happen daily) and left turns from the right lane or jut over from the left lane to merge onto an exit they could have seen coming if their were signs. I've been noticing this since I started driving up here (that there aren't enough signs that could help me and anyone else that doesn't know their way around) and I have noticed a few more signs up so that's in the right direction. I have learned from every encounter that you and I are simply supposed to know what we are doing. It's too much work for anyone to help when help is asked for, they want to help on their time (they love to say they love to help others). The sum of what I have learned about westerners: wait until help is offered, never ask, which goes against everything I think people should do. No wonder my aunt kept forcing help onto us. If help is offered and it works then they need not offer more help (sometimes it's 'yay! we did it together!' whether you wanted the help or not), but if it doesn't work then something is wrong with you, the one in need.

I have been wondering where I can go or who I can speak with about what could help Washington aid its drivers. Then (several months after I began to notice the lack of signage) I heard about Allstate's study and report on where the best and worst drivers are. Seattle doesn't fair well. Aside from a lack of signage, these people think it's perfectly fine to drive in the passing lane(s). I had someone in a low-rider get on the highway, immediately get into the left/passing lane that I was in as I was trying to pass a group of really slow drivers, and this vehicle (the low-rider) traveled at 40mph when the speed limit is 60. That's only one instance and this is normal for some reason. Then you have people that know the left lane(s) is for passing and when they can't get out of a group of bad drivers, they have to change lanes, getting ahead as quickly or slowly as they can, until they get out of that group where there is wide open space sometimes half a mile or even 3/4 of a mile before the next group(saying to me that it doesn't need to happen in the first place if the slow-goers would drive right... in their proper lane). I had to learn how to drive like an asshole (changing lanes to get ahead is something that seemed pointless back home because eventually the group will shift and the passing lane usually becomes the passing lane again...not here in Seattle). My momma raised me to know every vehicle around me and any vehicle that's coming. She said that when you are behind bad drivers, you want to get ahead of them so you aren't caught in the accident they might cause. Of the few things my mom said/did that were right, this makes perfect sense and I use it.

When the officer handed me a ticket, I put it aside and mentally moved on, not at all frustrated or upset in any way. I asked him if he knew who I could talk to about road signs and he did what every Seattlite has done so far...turned it around onto me and gave it a meaning it didn't have. Me, "...Okay, thank you (for the ticket), Hey, do you know who I can talk to about signage? Like WADoT maybe?" He said, "You're supposed to watch the road, not look around for signs." Me, "Obviously." Officer, "This is a divided highway and it is illegal to turn left across it. (There aren't any no-left turn signs posted.) You must have felt the rumbling as you turned." Me, "No. I didn't notice anything (because there are lots of potholes and I assumed I got one...I also want to bring up lighting as there is a serious lack of lights on highways and that road is no different whether it is a street or a major highway...with stop lights and strip malls just like Lindbergh back home in St. Louis)." Officer, "Well I felt the rumble as I drove across it (saying to himself he's glad he gave me a $674 ticket because I'm a horrible driver with his body language), they look like little yellow turtles." I tried to get the conversation back on track and reword my question, but he stayed on the defense/offense thing that these people do so I gave up. As he walked back to his car I told Johnny that he thought I was challenging him and why do these people act this way and How do I get my questions answered? All before the cop got in his car so I hope he heard and can take into account that not all people are out to attack. I don't know how to get that message across to these people that have this idea ingrained in their personal core fabric of who they are. They get their feelings hurt So easily! Even local talk radio hosts emanate the behavior. Locals don't see that they don't need to put emotion into everything. Normal conversation doesn't occur here. I don't know what they like to talk about except for sunny weather. It's really hard to find out what anyone likes because they are afraid of being made to feel wrong for liking this or that activity.

What I have learned in my year here is that WA does things their own way and they don't like it when people have questions because it makes them feel like they are doing things wrong. Locals fail to realize that when someone has a question, they are trying to learn how to fit in and they like the place enough to want to help. To Washingtonians a question posed is a statement of attack, possibly one saying You're inferior for doing things this way. I can't take much  more of this.

Now I'm going to search for The Uptight Seattlite to try and put some humor into all of this.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Photo Storage And Sharing

To store photos online, in the past and up to now, I have used Yahoo who took the service away, Flickr who had and may still have a storage limit, Photobucket who has a storage limit and lastly I tried Google's Picassa. In Picassa I was mislead to think I had unlimited storage. I went back to Photobucket who mislead me even better than Picassa (because with Picassa I knew there was a limit, what I was lead to see was that it would be nearly impossible to reach 5gig.) to think I had truly unlimited storage. I finally bit it even though I was poor and I bought an external hard drive...that got thrown away so even tax documents are gone.

I decided to see what else is out there for my last post and I found some interesting stuff that I thought I would share. I also don't want to keep sharing things with myself by emailing to myself.
     This one did not work for me in connecting the image I uploaded to this blog, but it seems like a good site for sharing and maybe storage.
     They say unlimited storage. We'll see. I can't remember which company it was, yorkphoto, something about fish, and maybe shutterfly, that said "unlimited" but meant "unlimited as long as you purchase prints from us." Shutterfly, like PhotoBucket, handles cell phones and has a program for the desktop.
     I assume this one is like tinyurl so you have a shorter link than some that can be more than one line long.

That's all for now. A nice short post with interesting finds. I will look into them further one day, but each time I sit down to do something on the computer, I have to leave. Now is one of those times.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

What will be the next phase of life in America?

No Parking (from) 2-5 AM sign in South Downtown Seattle
No Parking sign in SoDo "No Parking (between) 2 - 5 AM"
     I have been wondering about something that probably won't have an answer or outcome for a while. Will the nomadic lifestyle become accepted? I think the question is actually when will a nomadic lifestyle become normal, but there will be confusion and maybe a fight for it to be okay.

      People across the country are getting used to dumpster diving which can teach that one can move anywhere and be able to find anything they need from food to furnishings wherever they go. In Seattle, there is a large community of campers with awesome airstream trailers and RVs. There are also people in the city that fear those who live in them, but Seattlites fear everything. Some businesses even put up No Parking signs illegally that say no parking between 2-5am. Many of the signs were legal, but some were not. There was an article (that I can't find right now to be able to link to) about some signs being removed a couple times, the first time the city removed them prompting the business to put new ones up and poured concrete so they couldn't be removed again since they thought vandals did it ("thought" in my opinion, but I realize I could be wrong). The city gave them a time limit and the business took them down the day the limit expired. I found one just last weekend in SoDo on Occidental Ave at the SoDo Park. I don't know if it is legal or not. Either way I think it's pretty dickish. I could be one of those on the street in my car...anyone could be homeless and in need of shelter and since they (those who have homes) have placed a judgment of "bad" on the homeless or being homeless, if it happens to them they will feel like the worst person ever and possibly commit suicide. Seattle could be the empathy capital of the world, but I fear it will take a large scale disaster either natural or not to force these people out of their fearful shells and they will be forced to work with each other.

     What about the rest of the country? I know the homeless in St. Louis have Larry Rice offering shelter, though he's not that great a person. I think he's been focused on one thing for too long and has become stuck. Dumpster diving in St. Louis offers amazing finds and I know many people that have some of the best finds like stained glass windows and beautifully painted chairs.

     I wonder about nomadic life becoming reality because some people know life is grand and would rather not be stuck in a city where people want others to think life is grand so they themselves won't have to do the work to force them to see how grand it is. (You don't have to force anyone to see anything. Stop doing it.) Some people love meeting new people and some enjoy learning about other cultures. We also have the Native American culture that will need to rework the treaty soon. Will any Indian Tribe want something nomadic worked into the new treaty? They shouldn't be stuck on pieces of land here and there should they? I guess they are used to it now, but no one should be stuck anywhere in my opinion. I don't agree with owning land and property, but I accept it. I would love it If I could travel around the country living in my car.

What will it be called? Will it be a noun? A verb?

Nomads, Nomading, Nomadic lifestyle

Money Hungry Hoarders

I am not sure if I am for an income cap, but it dawned on me today (and I'm just now able to put words to all the feelings that arose when the idea morphed/dawned on me earlier today) that money is like food in that the more you get the more you want.

I starved for more than a year. Some days I had two meals, other days I had two cookies. I got really good at rationing food to myself. A pack of peanut butter M&Ms could last a couple weeks if I ate 2-5 at a time as I felt tired and confused because I was so hungry. Now that I have food a little more regularly, though not much more, especially when I am pmsey I can't easily stop eating a pack of M&Ms (still peanut butter). If I wasn't sure I would have breakfast tomorrow, I would put the pack aside after no more than five pieces of candy and cry through the pain until I either fell asleep or had five more.

As with money, I think about what I would do if I had more. When I have to make purchases, I am careful to stretch out my money. When I have plenty of money, I spend away. This is what marketers want and this is what drives rich people to fight for their "right" to get richer and hoard money.

Do we need to have an intervention with them? Hoarding isn't healthy.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Seattle Culture

Life is about experiences. If you don't try how can you know? -me 12p 9.16.2013

I am fascinated with people and culture. I just heard a story on NPR about a Russian family and a book put out or coming out soon by someone in that family. I want so badly to dive into Russian culture because it is one of the few countries that I have not been able to learn about. Russians like to stick to (or with) their family so I haven't been able to gain an "in" even though one of my two favorite people at a job of a few years back was, as he said, a Russian Jew.

My fascination of cultures, I think, is because I want to know how to expect the unexpected by understanding at least a little bit of every culture so I can work at allowing everyone and anyone to feel welcome around me.

I have so many questions after living in Seattle for a year now. I am confused about how my mom was the way she was if my grandma's side of the family was in Memphis TN for decades.
How can a culture of antagonistic rude behavior exist in such a large population? The West coast consists of too many people that think it is okay to ostracize. To find an action or behavior that is new, therefore weird, therefore treat it like it shouldn't be a part of anyone's thought process or action(s) has never made sense to me, but my mom was this way. She didn't like anything I did, she was confused by me. I wonder if she was a product of the culture that said "children should be seen and not heard" while "do as I say, not as I do" was also prevalent. That must have been confusing. To raise children with the misguided knowledge that they are stupid, they don't know better, so they need to be pushed has, I think, hurt America. Children are amazingly good at catching on. Children are my favorite people because they ask questions that many adults are unwilling to even think about. Adults think they need to know all and to need to understand something better means they are stupid. This, in my opinion, has lead to the current political situation we are in. A series of generations that grew up thinking they would be respected only when they are adults, which still exists, but on a Much smaller scale, has us stuck in this event where those politicians say they know best and we the people do not. So I know the West coast rudeness is not only within the West coast, it is littered throughout the country leading me to hypothesise that a century or more ago, when people and families were traveling westward, leaving other family behind, that maybe they felt consciously or unconsciously like they were running from something. I think the feeling was there when North America was beginning to be populated centuries ago, too. It seems that people came here to start colonies for like-minded people, since those colonies didn't quite work out how they wanted, they moved further West when they were allowed to (and asked to to populate other territories). I wonder if those families got to the West coast and felt trapped because they couldn't keep going. They didn't want to turn back for whatever reason(s) and they couldn't keep trying to create a populous of their religion. Is this what started the force-people-to-think-how-I-think culture?

Why don't Seattlites see it? They deny the Seattle freeze exists turning it around onto anyone that brings it up saying there is something wrong with them for looking for it as if the rest of the country looks to be treated poorly and only Seattle locals don't. No one looks to be treated poorly, but they do notice when it continuously happens to them.

I keep coming back to there being a lack of old people (here in the west). I need to look into the idea more so I am not educated on this quite yet, though I have looked into the history of the West and Mexico and Western Canada and I think from what I have learned that the West is too new. There isn't a rich history of family, of warmth. There has been a history of fighting and white supremacy, but not cultural acceptance. To ignore something exists/existed does not make things better. Acknowledgement and conversation lead to growth, restrictions and fear lead to a stifled oppressed culture.

Seattlites Really like themselves. Not each other...themselves. They want to look good to outsiders, but they don't actually want the spotlight. I think they do know something isn't right, but (I think that) since they aren't willing to accept what outsiders/onlookers have to say that they won't be the city they dream of being. They will complain about all that is wrong with the place (coworkers, neighbors, etc), then complain about the rest of the country in ways that make them feel better allowing the culture to continue. I hear about a fear of crime a Lot, but the areas I have been told not to go to are areas I find nothing to fear. I also heard a lot about it being a good thing that I'm not in St. Louis anymore because of all the crime. Crime happens everywhere especially when cultures aren't empathetic. St. Louis is a great place and they don't know how good it is to be there. The sweltering heat can make anyone feel like life sucks though lol! With good people and friends even in strangers, St. Louis is a great place to be. (And all the options at grocery stores and the friendliness of most people there...another post maybe.) My point here is that I'm sick and tired of hearing the word "crime." I'm sick of this culture that lives on fear.

I have collected too much data, maybe, and since there is so much to learn from this place, I haven't been able to complete a post. I research one idea and come up with five more keeping me in learn-mode rather than understand-mode, which I don't mind because I do not fear what others think of me. I do not think it is stupid to learn (as an adult). I don't know if I will ever fit in here because I'm not a fan of conforming. The scrunched up passive aggressive facial expressions make me laugh, which I'm sure makes them feel anger that they aren't making me see what they want me to see. I see it, I just don't agree with it. But conversation doesn't happen here. You have to join a club and you can only be around like-minded people to have friends...something us mid westerners don't understand/agree with.

I'm sorry Seattle. I will always love everyone and I will always be accepting of other cultures, not finding much that goes on "weird." While you want to know what to expect, you are holding yourselves back. Lose the fear of confrontation and learn to engage in conversation. There may be an art to conversing so learn how it can be artful for you (the individual).