How do you feel when you are misunderstood? How do you feel when you Think someone else is being selfish? The way someone else acts does not mean anything to or for your own character. How you handle it does. You can be mean, let the situation grow into an argument, blame the other person/people, or you can just let it go. Most of us don't have the coping skills to keep our composure and to let things slide.
Essentially, we want approval. When we offer information, advice, tell a joke, or do anything we feel is normal, we want the response we feel is warranted. When we don't receive a response that we feel is proper for the moment, we feel invalidated. This is a result of our inner critic. Each time you feel negative, put it aside. Don't let the negative thoughts form into ideas or you will feed into the wrong side of the situation. Explore those thoughts later when your nerves are less likely to jump your brain to conclusions that are also not proper for the situation. This is how I stay calm with each of my encounters, but I usually don't even explore the negative thoughts. I keep putting it aside to explore at a later time. If I feel the time is right, that I can kindly explain to myself why I don't need to feel that way, then I will let the exploration begin. Until then, I might only breed negativity within myself. No thank you!
By feeding negativity you discredit positivity. If someone doesn't see your point of view, you don't have to get upset and fight about it. You will discredit your own intentions if they were positive. If they weren't positive, you will be searching for reasons to validate your negative act or thoughts. See if you can differentiate these feelings. Are you fighting about your point or searching for validation or approval?
It's okay to be misunderstood. It will continue to happen, that, I can guarantee. As long as you know what you meant and don't let their confusion diminish your intentions, you can let it go. You aren't a bad person for having been misunderstood. You don't need to make them see your side. Just let it go. (easier said than done, but with practice and over time it gets easier and easier)
It is also okay for others to appear selfish. You don't know what is in their head. They might have a beautiful reason or meaning that they don't know how to put into words. You don't see it so you misunderstand them and their intentions. Maybe they are truly being selfish and not trying to do something good. That isn't a reason to judge them as if the act/action/event among hundreds of others is the one that defines them. Don't take it personally. That's a little selfish in it's own nature. Are you a bad person for taking things personally? I don't think so. I think it means that you need to find more activities. The more you can get outside of your head, the more you might see that including other people in your life isn't scary.
Know that it takes time to process information. You might look back on something that happened a month ago, see it from a different perspective because time has passed allowing your mind to remove itself from the situation, and you might learn something, see something good in it, or realize it doesn't matter and you can let it go. You don't have to understand the moment. Everyone will have their own understanding of it. You can only handle your own thoughts on it. After reading this, you might have a whirlwind of activity in your mind. Let those thoughts come and go. Try reading again in a week and see what you understand for yourself. It will probably be different, if only slightly.
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