There's always a complainer in our lives.We can't avoid them. You might work with one (or more), commute with one, live with one, etc. I like to bring up the happier side once in a while, but just as their negativity can be overbearing to me, happiness can be overbearing to them. Sometimes I have to say something so I can learn what they are open to, then I will know how I can handle each one individually. Until they learn that they aren't doing themselves any good by being negative, they won't appreciate happiness. So don't impose every thought you feel is a lighter way to view something or you may be seen as if you think you are better than everyone else.
Use their complaints wisely and to your advantage. Instead of feeling bogged down with their negativity, try to see another side of their complaint. ~A coworker says, "People are grumpy today!" You can turn it into, "What can I learn from the grumpiness of others today?" Or make a joke about it without singling anyone out, "It's something in the air, I hope I don't breathe what they are!" and be done with it.~ You don't have to tell them what you come up with. Most negative people either won't hear you or they will get angry or annoyed with you. You might even come across as a know-it-all or that you think you're better than everyone else so be careful when offering an opinion. The situation might not require yours. Not offering your two cents doesn't mean you are putting yourself down. Just the opposite. You can see it as keeping your head above the situation.
I have learned to keep from feeling the negativity of others by putting aside thoughts and feelings that someone is overbearing. Their emotions don't need to be mine so I don't always let my mind explore thoughts that make me feel heavy. I can guarantee that I might encounter crabby people on any day. As long as I live with a complainer or as long as I leave my house (for a walk, to drive to work, drive to a store, shop in a store, etc) I will come across crabby people. I can't change where they are in their mind, I can't change that they might be feeling negative about a fight they just had with someone or the bills that they can't pay so they feel like a bad person. It's not my fault and it doesn't have to be my problem. Knowing that I love everyone and everything equally can be enough to calm any situation. Without difficult people, I wouldn't be reminded how not to be.
In everything I do, I have the happiness of the entire world in mind.
It takes time to change the way our brains work, but studies show over and over again that the brain can be reworked or rewired. Patience is required and part of that means that it's okay to get upset now and then. You might learn something about yourself from your actions or thoughts from being upset. If negative thoughts about yourself come to mind, put them away. How I do that is to say to myself, "I'm not going to think that thought right now. I let you (the thought) go." I don't explore why I am or am not whatever I am thinking that isn't positive. It is okay to explore those thoughts at times, it's better to do when we are happy, but to focus on it isn't going to help in many situations. All you can do is know your intentions don't include vindication, revenge, hate, or to somehow harm. If you try to tailor your actions to anyone else's opinion(s), you will never be able to keep up with what is important to you. You will hold yourself back. Know you are a good person and continue or move on (read: let it go).
Below is a Psychology Today blog post on reworking your brain cells [to be happier]. I love science and especially the science of the brain.
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