Monday, May 28, 2012
Meditation Is ...
Meditation might be confusing because it is intangible. How do you do something you can only think about? How do you learn techniques of others' when it is hard to understand how it is described? Meditation teaches not to deal in or live with absolutes. It is moment to moment non-judgmental awareness (Jon Kabat-Zinn).
Meditation is being present.
When you are taking a shower, you feel the water on your skin.
When you are taking a bath, you feel the water surrounding your body.
You smell the scents of your soap. You inhale the steam.
Meditation is a tool. It is not something only zen masters do. It is something everyone can do and has done at some time.
To meditate is to be okay with yourself.
It is to focus but not to force your focus.
Meditation is not about a definite moment of peace.
It is a tool to learn how to teach yourself about yourself.
It is a tool to learn how to stay calm under stress.
Meditation helps you see that setbacks are not an obstacle, but instead they are something to learn from. Sometimes too many setbacks happen too close together. That's life. I know I have said "Can I just have some time to process the last few weeks before something else happens?"And with setback after setback of loss after loss, I would just get back to where I was mentally before one event occurred when something else happened. Humans are amazingly adaptable. We can handle much more than we think.
If you fall asleep, be okay that you got a few minutes of active meditation before falling asleep. Look into making time in your day for a nap in case you fall asleep each time you meditate. Maybe set an alarm clock for 20 or 30 min or the time you can spend sitting or lying down "doing nothing" in case you will fall asleep. I'd recommend to have the alarm be relaxing and not alarming. You don't want to be startled which can make you angry that you have to stop meditating, you want to calmly come back to where you are, take in your surroundings or however you gather yourself when you "come to" and go on to do what you need to. Then look into getting more sleep at night. For your own sanity, whether you want to make time for yourself to meditate or exercise or take the kids to the park, you will function better daily if you get your 8 hours. The amount of time each person needs to sleep is relative, it will be different for each person sometimes day to day and week to week, but the science shows that less than 6 hrs is harmful for the body. It needs the rest to restore and repair. Look at it as the body's way of meditating.
Maybe when the mind wanders, you are not fulfilling all of your needs. Look into the thoughts that persist, write them down to look into later and come back to your breath, come back to the speaker if you are listening to a guided meditation or come back to the music you are using to help keep your focus off of daily life. Meditation can be used to decide what thoughts and ideas are worth exploring. Is a thought creating stress or even a fear of looking into the thought? It might be best to work with the thought while you are alone and attempting to meditate so you don't project your stress onto others. Sometimes you might need to meditate another time so you can deal with something bothering you, but learn to differentiate between needing to know something and needing to work out an issue. Meditation is to remember you do not have to meet every need you think of. You do not have to know everything. If you worry about things you "should be doing" or you focus on things you could be doing, turn that worry into a goal of something to work on next. Right now (I say "right now" because you will think of this article when you try to meditate and it will help to have the dialogue in place) you are focusing on slowing your mind down.
Having things to do is a good thing, it can help the mind look forward rather than feel stuck in wondering what to do with yourself. The time always comes when we don't have something to do. We complete all our chores, errands are done, the video game has been beat or the crossword puzzle completed, we feel bored with the toys we have and we don't know how to handle ourselves in the lull. We are used to being busy and it feels wrong to slow down. Meditation can teach us to appreciate those moments. We can learn how to be instead of always looking forward at what to do next, at what we will do tomorrow or at how to protect ourselves from what we perceive as boredom. Meditation can help us to stay calm, to not be surprised with an abrupt interruption. Another way to say it is that you can learn how to help yourself not feel frazzled or pulled in too many directions.
Meditation is not about Not thinking, it is not to clear the mind and be void of all thought. That would be a judgmental characterization placing limits on what you can do. The mind thinks. It's normal to think. There is no need to get upset with the way you meditate because there is no right or wrong way.
Meditation is about training the mind, but not necessarily directing it. Meditation teaches you to be. Thoughts come. Let them be. Thoughts go. Let them go. Meditation is about being gentle with yourself. It is about exploration of yourself, your likes, your dislikes, what matters and what doesn't matter. You don't need to protect yourself from stressful situations or any form of discomfort. You can let those moments be. They will not last. The good times won't last, the bad times won't last...if you died today, are you happy with yourself? That's not to help you be egotistical and self centered, but to look into what it means for you to not make everything all about you.
Meditation is a way to look to yourself for help or to find happiness for yourself instead of looking to your parents, friends, teacher(s), coworkers, boss(es), or your partner (girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife).
Each time you meditate you will feel different about it or, rather you will have different thoughts on meditating, which will create your own meaning. Meditation is whatever you want it to be.
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