I have a theory on why companies are not hiring as they used to. Many companies finally learned that they need to focus on their employees because happy people sell the product better. Some companies already knew this, but the idea of being empathetic to employees caught on and spread. I think that companies are looking to keep going through the depression/recession and to come out ahead by creating an excellent working atmosphere.
I don't think companies are afraid to hire, I think the energy of running the company was refocused. They aren't working on hiring not because they are afraid of who will be president, companies will make it through any presidency.
I won't know for years or decades whether my hypothesis is true, but if we can shift our own attention instead of letting news/media (tv, internet...wherever you get your news) inform us on what to be afraid of, maybe we can make up our own minds. There is always at least one more side to the stories we are given. I choose to look into the stuff that politicians speak of as well as what news casters state. I hope I'm not the only one. Several years ago, my ex asked me who I was voting for so he wouldn't have to do the work. (that should have been a clue that he couldn't make up his own mind so we wouldn't work well together) I engaged him in a small conversation about a few topics on the ballot so he would make his own decisions. It was too much for him. I have since met others who don't want to vote or don't know how to look into issues. If politicians won't change then we have to. How can we help each other, calmly-no arguing!, look into things and make decisions? That's sort of rhetorical, post responses if you want to...comments and conversation is fun, but it's meant to be food for thought.
After typing all that, now I'm wondering if using the idea of empathy in an interview will get more people hired. Some companies might not know which way they want to go to get through this. If someone shows up with confidence and compassion, maybe they will get hired. Maybe too many people are feeling desperate and it shows when they interview.
Showing posts with label Empathy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Empathy. Show all posts
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Working With Other People - People Like You and The Opposite of You
What it is to be empathetic...at least today. Life is fluid, the explanation to follow may not be true for a year from now or two decades in the future, but it is a part of being empathetic regardless of how important it may seem. Empathy as well as compassion have many components. I don't think we can use every aspect of kindness in each situation, but I think to have knowledge of the different ways to be empathetic help to include as many different ways as possible so as not to get angry from assuming someone meant harm, which allows them to do harm whether they had the intention or not.
If you want to be around empathetic people, if you want to run an empathetic company, if you want to call the customer service dept of any company and you want to be treated with empathy and respect, you have to give it.You have to know it to be able to recognize it to know when you are being treated with respect. Your idea of respect will be different from anyone else's idea because each of us has had different experiences creating various feelings toward behavior and reaction.
I have explained almost everything I do for most of my life. What it was seen as was not me looking how to be empathetic, but instead it was viewed as complaining. I now know that most people I encountered didn't know what it meant to have compassion. I learned how to hone my wording (thanks to the internet for the ability to reach out to people where I wouldn't have had the chance otherwise) and not put blame onto anyone including myself. In the past I wanted to find ways to fix or work on something even if it was finding another way for myself to look at it. Since no one understood what I needed I wasn't able to nurture my skills or to be nurtured, which is why I share my knowledge. I also didn't want pity, another wrong view of what people thought I was trying to achieve. I don't want pity. Never did. I wanted to find solutions. As I speak with other people today I learned they, too, don't want pity...pity means to feel sorry but not to do anything about it. That's not healthy nor fun in any way.
To be empathetic is to be more open with your thoughts. Get over/work through your fears by being vocal. Each time you do this you will receive mixed reactions from everyone. Use that to learn how to handle difficult situations if that's what you need help with, use it to get over awkward feelings from talking to strangers (this is my goal this year and I can report that I am very happy with what I have learned), talk about your thoughts and fears to learn how to quickly move on from feeling attacked. Turn it into curiosity of how other people work. More often than not, people end up reiterating what I say so they just needed to work with an idea and put it in their own words.
To talk about your personal thoughts and ideas works with children and adults. For children it will expose them to new things, for adults it will either encourage or scare them. The only difference between children and adults is that children don't have all the fears built up that adults do. Children have a curiosity and a drive to learn while adults may have been driven inside their head out of fear of what others will think of them. Adults appear more opinionated, but I don't think of people as being opinionated. I see people working with thoughts and ideas and they may not be comfortable adding to those ideas, also known as growing, which appears as opinionated and judgmental. Show interest in someone else's ideas, learn how to not feel attacked with each experience, and you will help others grow while you learn what you need to learn for your own growth.
Sometimes we have to wait. Do you ever feel annoyed that some people take a long time to understand? (time is relative in this sense, which is to say that the amount of time you feel it should take will be a different amount of time for almost everyone else.) Instead of looking at it as being held back, use it to learn how to encourage others. Don't encourage people to think the way you do and don't expect others to think the way you do. Simply encourage other people to think and learn. This way you are not waiting for the topic(s) to morph and grow, you get to learn how other people work. You will be multitasking.
Have fun with your daily interactions. No longer dread them, but look forward to both the good reactions and the negative reactions. Look into what you did to see what was good and look into what you did to create the negative reaction. You may not have done/will do anything to receive negative reactions, but at least make sure you aren't expecting positive reactions and then getting angry when you don't see what you want.
If you want to be around empathetic people, if you want to run an empathetic company, if you want to call the customer service dept of any company and you want to be treated with empathy and respect, you have to give it.You have to know it to be able to recognize it to know when you are being treated with respect. Your idea of respect will be different from anyone else's idea because each of us has had different experiences creating various feelings toward behavior and reaction.
I have explained almost everything I do for most of my life. What it was seen as was not me looking how to be empathetic, but instead it was viewed as complaining. I now know that most people I encountered didn't know what it meant to have compassion. I learned how to hone my wording (thanks to the internet for the ability to reach out to people where I wouldn't have had the chance otherwise) and not put blame onto anyone including myself. In the past I wanted to find ways to fix or work on something even if it was finding another way for myself to look at it. Since no one understood what I needed I wasn't able to nurture my skills or to be nurtured, which is why I share my knowledge. I also didn't want pity, another wrong view of what people thought I was trying to achieve. I don't want pity. Never did. I wanted to find solutions. As I speak with other people today I learned they, too, don't want pity...pity means to feel sorry but not to do anything about it. That's not healthy nor fun in any way.
To be empathetic is to be more open with your thoughts. Get over/work through your fears by being vocal. Each time you do this you will receive mixed reactions from everyone. Use that to learn how to handle difficult situations if that's what you need help with, use it to get over awkward feelings from talking to strangers (this is my goal this year and I can report that I am very happy with what I have learned), talk about your thoughts and fears to learn how to quickly move on from feeling attacked. Turn it into curiosity of how other people work. More often than not, people end up reiterating what I say so they just needed to work with an idea and put it in their own words.
To talk about your personal thoughts and ideas works with children and adults. For children it will expose them to new things, for adults it will either encourage or scare them. The only difference between children and adults is that children don't have all the fears built up that adults do. Children have a curiosity and a drive to learn while adults may have been driven inside their head out of fear of what others will think of them. Adults appear more opinionated, but I don't think of people as being opinionated. I see people working with thoughts and ideas and they may not be comfortable adding to those ideas, also known as growing, which appears as opinionated and judgmental. Show interest in someone else's ideas, learn how to not feel attacked with each experience, and you will help others grow while you learn what you need to learn for your own growth.
Sometimes we have to wait. Do you ever feel annoyed that some people take a long time to understand? (time is relative in this sense, which is to say that the amount of time you feel it should take will be a different amount of time for almost everyone else.) Instead of looking at it as being held back, use it to learn how to encourage others. Don't encourage people to think the way you do and don't expect others to think the way you do. Simply encourage other people to think and learn. This way you are not waiting for the topic(s) to morph and grow, you get to learn how other people work. You will be multitasking.
Have fun with your daily interactions. No longer dread them, but look forward to both the good reactions and the negative reactions. Look into what you did to see what was good and look into what you did to create the negative reaction. You may not have done/will do anything to receive negative reactions, but at least make sure you aren't expecting positive reactions and then getting angry when you don't see what you want.
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